When I was young, I loved to play the board game by the same name. We’d spin the wheel, anticipate where we wanted to land, and made tradeoffs between career and adventures. We played for the fun of the experiences and hated when illness set in. A board game created...
Chasing the Margins
It’s been a quiet week. Post-surgery, there’s been anesthesia brain where my mind didn’t feel like focusing or thinking. My eyes either. It was news to me that they tape your eyes shut during surgery. In a way it makes sense, to not startle the surgeon or nurses with...
As I Lay Me Down to Sleep
As a young girl, I was instructed to say my prayers before going to sleep. It was a nighttime ritual that goes back many generations. I can see myself kneeling in front of my bed and saying: Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, If I should die...
Who the f*ck are you and what horse did you ride in on? Or. Trust Your Intuition!
Today I had the initial consult with an oncologist. First off, oncologist has been a really odd word to say and write. My family doesn’t have a history of cancer. So, this diagnosis of breast cancer has been a surprise not only to me, but to many in my family. Through...
When It’s Not Benign: The Gift of Love
I’ve been in judgment of my body for as long as I can remember. There’s a saying that when I point a finger, three are pointing back at me. In this case though, when I’m in judgment of some aspect of self, it’s not just four fingers pointing at me, it’s me pointing at...
How Are You?
It’s an age-old question that we use to open up conversations. But when you have something deeper going on, being asked this question isn’t always so innocent. Sometimes there’s an underlying, “what’s going on?” This journey of breast cancer is breaking me open in...
When It’s Not Benign: The Object of My Breast
There’s a fascination with women’s breasts that goes back for millennia. They’re vessels via which we feed our babies. So they’re important from a childrearing perspective. But other than fun to play with, they’re a body part that many times requires extra articles of...
When It’s Not Benign: A Mindful Journey through Breast Cancer
Living in the Open Question I received the call late Friday afternoon. “I’m sorry to give you this news, but you have invasive carcinoma in your right breast.” The doctor who’d performed the biopsy was talking about next steps. An MRI, meeting with a breast surgeon,...
The Rules of Silence
You will never be able to win your game as long as you’re playing by someone else’s rules. Why boundaries are vital to your being. I’m not typically interested in royal shenanigans. They’re human just like us, but with a lot more money and level of prestige greater...
You Are A Divine Being
You are a divine being. If you’d said this to me even six months ago, I would have said no, turned around and walked away. Even through all of the “work” I’d done to clear my past, I didn’t believe I was worthy of this. Yet it’s our birthright. We are all born of...