Trust Your Inner Wisdom

Resistance is real. Resistance is also a beautiful indicator and invitation to explore what’s underneath.

A few weeks back, I was resisting making a phone call. I thought about it for days, anticipating, I’m not sure what. But it’s an old cycle when I talk with this person, there’s not a lot of depth in our conversations, because there’s a lot we don’t talk about. I’ve acknowledged that I could stop all communication, and I’ve chosen to remain connected.

But that feeling.

The morning of the day to make the phone call, I was guided to walk in a specific park. As I parked my car, and looked at the river, I asked myself the question of what was really there. What aspect of my younger self was present? My 4-year-old self.

As I walked, I thought about what she knew and saw at that age, but was made to doubt herself. Our truth will sometimes make someone look at their own, a truth they don’t want to see or admit, so they deny the mirror we are for them.

I conversed with my younger self, both out loud and internally. That she knows what she knows, and no one can ever take her truth away from her.

Then, about 1/2 a mile up the path, I looked to the wall along the river’s edge and saw something unusual. I walked over to explore and saw that it was an owl. It sat calmly as I talked to it, and didn’t move. I named her Athena, and decided that if she was still there on my way back, I’d call animal control.

Just before 8, I called, provided the location and drove home. I had a live interview, in less than two hours, so I was watching the clock.

Home. I received a call from animal control and gave her directions to Athena.

Out of the shower, I saw I’d received another call. The officer was having a hard time finding Athena, would I come down to the park to meet her? Yes, because I didn’t want any further harm to come to the owl.

I looked at the time on my phone and it was just before 9. I put on some clothes, jumped in my car, and drove back to the park. A man was standing by Athena, and he’d just called it in as well.

Finally able to connect with the officer, we stood by the owl as it popped into the river. Again, seeming very calm as it floated and looked up at us.

The officer prepared the cage and scooped her up with a net. Athena was safely put into the cage. I watched the officer drive off to take Athena to a local wildlife sanctuary.

Home just after 9:30, I had plenty of time to dry my hair, and properly dress for my interview.

There are a number of lessons and insights that came out of this:

~ trust your intuition. It will always guide you. I was meant to be at that park, to have that conversation with my younger self.

~ trust your truth. There’s no coincidence that I saw the owl, a symbol of wisdom, just as I was conversing with my younger self. I know what I know to be true. You do too.

~ time expands. There is always time for what’s important. Even with a busy schedule and to-do list, space will be created for what we prioritize.

After the interview, I made the phone call, the one I’d been dreading. But what I realized is that by acknowledging my younger self, I no longer unconsciously wanted it from the person on the other end of the phone. I’d given to myself what I wanted.

I also realized dreading the phone call kept the old wound of not being acknowledged present because the same energy is there around my current body of work. Yet by having that important conversation with my younger self, it closed the loop. I’m able to converse, keep the connection, and now be neutral of whether they do or don’t connect with my truth and my work in the world.

Sometimes what’s underneath our challenges is the need for an aspect of our younger self to be seen, heard, and recognized. Without this, we create patterns, some so deep we don’t realize how they drive us.

Until we look deeper at what we resist.