What Do You Really Want?

We’re deep in the middle of the holiday season.

You may be thinking about someone you haven’t seen or talked with in a while, wanting things to be different between the two of you.

You may want to end something but are waiting for the other person to make the first move. Your fear of upsetting them holding you back.

You can think about something all you want, but it can feel like a long, slow, painful, mental exercise.

Things won’t change until you change something about what you want to change.

To want relates to the energy of something we don’t have. The etymology, circa 1200, is deficiency or shortage.

We’re coming toward the end of the year, the end of a decade, a time of reflection. And sometimes the mental view isn’t very pretty.

Ponder these not so easy questions:

How long have you been waiting for something to change in a certain situation?

and

Are you waiting for someone else to make the first move?

We as humans don’t like change

and

we certainly don’t like to feel uncomfortable.

Worse yet, that our actions make someone else feel uncomfortable, thinking their feelings are our responsibility.

Sometimes, it takes an act of the universe pulling the proverbial rug out from underneath us for us to actually do something.

I know this energy well. I did everything within my power to try to get my alcoholic husband to come around. Four years of living with active alcoholism that only made it easier for him, as I built an ever-bigger bubble around him. Trying to change his way of thinking. Until I landed in the hospital with a heart attack scare.  My wake-up call.

While I was in the middle of it, I didn’t see how much time had passed. In some ways I didn’t want to know, until I couldn’t not look any more.

We can go for years without making a change. Hoping the change will be made for us.

Things will be better when …..

If I do this, then they’ll …..

We get attached to wanting to make things better, hoping they will, rather than taking steps to actually affect change.

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been in this place. You can’t change the past. You are where you are.

What you can do is to stop wanting and begin to take steps. Even making a plan and writing it down is taking a step.

You may change things once you have forward momentum. It’s normal, as life evolves. But you’ll never know if you stay in the mode of wanting.

What one thing will you do this week? For you? To prepare you for the next decade.

Moving yourself into the state of realizing your life.