Have you ever heard a phrase that explains so much? It ties together what you’ve been feeling and experiencing, like putting the cherry on top of a sundae.
For me, it was hearing “let go or be dragged” for the first time, when I was regularly attending 12-step meetings.
I saw it not only in my home life in living with an alcoholic, it was appearing in other areas of my life and I realized I was allowing myself to be dragged.
Receiving this awareness began to change everything.
Holiday gatherings, work related or personal, are when we catch up with people we haven’t seen in a while. They’re also the perfect place to get pulled in to gossip and certain people’s energy suck.
Chaos and drams follow certain people.
So-and-so is having an affair/left their relationship/is sleeping with the boss. Look at how much weight so-and-so gained. Is so-and-so really wearing that??? I can’t believe so-and-so got that promotion/money/car, what did they do to deserve that???
Or someone may say something controversial to get a rise out of you.
It’s uncomfortable because the conversation begins and we feel obligated to comment. It pulls us into their vortex and sucks away at your energy, then you walk away feeling like you need to take a shower.
My grandmother had wise words, “if it isn’t nice, don’t say it.”
You are not obligated to entertain the conversation.
But, how do you remove yourself?
If you feel comfortable, you may say something like, “this conversation makes me feel uncomfortable because so-and-so isn’t here to defend themselves. Let’s talk about ____.” You’re not pointing the finger at the speaker, you’re taking responsibility for how you feel and are expressing it.
If you don’t feel comfortable saying the above, you might excuse yourself for a visit to the restroom, or you see someone across the room that you must talk to. Now.
Both disrupt the conversation and the pull of your energy.
Remember that the other person’s response to you not entertaining the conversation isn’t your responsibility. You are not obligated to be dragged in to their drama or gossip.
When you let go, they get to be their own company in whatever form it takes.
You get to be free of the energy suck and instead enjoy your time with people who speak your same language. Making for a happy holiday gathering.